


Working Man

by godcomplexfics (godtiercomplex)



Series: dysfunctional family funtimes [19]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships, this is not how a relationship works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 08:12:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9712868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godtiercomplex/pseuds/godcomplexfics
Summary: In which: Shuu takes up working at a shelter, rumors start circulating, and Haise is amused.(Reposted due to Ao3 mishaps)





	

 

At the end of 2010 when the drama over Saiko’s kidnapping had passed, Shuu had a movie premiere to go to. His date to the premiere wasn’t Haise, because Haise refused to go to events like this with him. His date instead was Kaede Sato, a woman who Shuu was only ever able to describe as “not his type”. She was outside of the realm of possibility for him--even before he had began this affair with Haise--and that was why he felt so comfortable taking her places and even occasionally being photographed and gossiped about with her.

They had a system and it had worked for years. Only now, Shuu was finding that most of his better suits weren’t at his apartment, and were instead at a house in a quieter neighborhood. His bad habit of rushing from his social engagements straight to Haise’s side had caught up with him. He called Tooru to inquire if the suit he was looking for was there, and then told Kaede that she was welcome to wait at his apartment. She just raised one black eyebrow and said, “I want to meet this little secret author of yours.”

“Haise is not a secret,” Shuu said. But even still, Kaede slid into the seat next to him, all luxurious hair and sparkling eyes, and Shuu wondered how Haise would take to her being at their doorstep, invading their lives.

He would have let himself in with his key, but he didn’t want to hear a comment like ‘oh playing house are we’ from Kaede so he knocked. Shirazu opened the door. And then shut the door. A few moments passed in silence, and Kaede just looked at him. Shuu touched his hand to his forehead.

Tooru opened up the door before Shuu could, and looked confused, “It’s just Tsukiyama and someone else. . . eh. . .”

“Kaede Sato,” Shuu said, waiting, and waiting and then Shirazu came back, hair flattened for some odd reason.

“Please come in.” Shirazu said as politely as he could manage, which was surprisingly much much nicer than he ever was to Shuu.

Kaede gave him an amused look and stepped past the two boys.

“Where is my suit?” Shuu asked.

“I started ironing it for you,” Tooru said, “I’ll be done soon.”

“Where’s the author?” Kaede asked.

“Dad?” Tooru said.

“Sassan’s in his study,” Shirazu said. The living room was almost quiet for once, no Saiko in sight playing her PS3 or Xbox or anything.

“Where’s Saiko?” Shuu asked.

“Sleeping. She failed her test,” Tooru muttered.

“Oh,” Shuu sighed, “Right, Kaede. These are two of the boys, Mutsuki and Shirazu. Urie is elsewhere I assume. Saiko is the eldest daughter and she’s upstairs. Boys, this is my friend, Kaede.”

“I know who Kaede is,” Shirazu muttered, while blushing of all things. Honestly, Shuu was way better looking than Kaede could even dream of being. She wore colored contacts for crying out loud.

“Nice to meet you, Kaede-san,” Tooru said, and then hurried away. To get Shuu’s suit, Shuu hoped.

“Let me introduce you to Haise,” Shuu said, ignoring the starstruck Shirazu who honestly was just embarrassing himself now. Kaede squeezed Shirazu’s hands, and the look on the teenager’s face was priceless, like a dream had come true for him. They stepped past him and past his and Haise’s bedroom to the study. He didn’t bother knocking.

Haise was sitting at his desk, casually dressed, and with his glasses on. He barely turned around when the door opened.

“Haise--”

“Please don’t interrupt me, Tsukiyama.”

“Then may I interrupt you?” Kaede asked.

That got Haise to turn around, and he looked from Tsukiyama to Kaede for a moment.

“May I help you?”

“Oh yes,” Kaede said, and it was her acting voice, the voice that had won over so many fans in her rising career. “I’ve always been curious to meet Shuu’s special someone.”

Haise just sighed, “If that’s what we’re calling it.”

“It isn’t what we’re calling it,” Shuu said, “Now you’ve met him, let’s go.”

“Oh no, I want to talk to Sassan,” Kaede said, and flashed Shuu a toothy grin. “Why don’t you go get dressed? We have my premiere to get to after all.”

Shuu protested, but Haise slid off his glasses, “Go get dressed, Tsukiyama. I don’t want Kanae calling and blaming me for you being late.”

That was that. In the space of the forty minutes it took him to put on his suit and fix his hair up, something happened. When he came out of the bedroom, they were all in the living room, Saiko included, and Kaede was telling a story from one of their photoshoots together.

He couldn’t help but notice that Haise was looking at Kaede with something like respect in his eyes. It was something he’d never shown Shuu before.

“I like them,” Kaede said as they got in the car, and his makeshift family waved them off, “I like them a lot. I might have to steal them, Shuu.”

He didn’t know what to say to that, as he’d already stolen them himself.

 

xxx

 

That was what he’d done, isn’t it? 2011 brought him to a realization that he was in love with Haise, and it wasn’t the same kind of love that had gotten them into this mess. It was a love that was enduring and would withstand all things. It was a love that was as selfish as it was selfless. It was a love that demanded to be returned, but was content to wait.

Now it was 2012 and he was faced with the realization that he might not have an option to wait for Haise to come to love him back. He might be losing him for good.

“You want me to do what?”

“We want you to be happy, Shuu. Stop chasing after someone who doesn’t love you back. It’s painful to see you this way. Please, find someone else.”

Happy? For all that they didn’t like one another, Shuu felt like Haise and his family were his. They had been for going on eight years now. However, he knew he didn’t have too many options, not really. His family’s legacy must be carried on in some way, right? He owed that to his family that had stood by and watched over him for so long, not interfering till now.

Yet, he had bound himself to Haise all those years ago in that hospital room. He wasn’t going to just give up on him now, just because the other didn’t _love_ him. That in mind, he told his parents that he would think on the matter and they looked satisfied with that.

Now, what were his options?

 

xxx

 

“You haven’t gone on a shoot in a while,” Tooru commented as they washed dishes together. Urie was missing, had been missing for months at that point, but the other two children were resting in a stupor after dinner in the living room. There was the harsh clang of Haise’s fingers on his keys as he edited his manuscript for Nagachika in the background.

“Because I’ve been busy with work,” Shuu dried off a plate and put it away as Tooru continued washing them.

“But isn’t your job modeling?”

“That was only ever supposed to be a temporary position,” Shuu explained, taking a cup and wiping it dry, “I did go to school for a reason, Tooru.”

“What did you major in then? Business?” Tooru asked as he finished up washing the remainder of the dishes, and passed them to Shuu. Shuu dried them off as he laughed.

“Social welfare actually.”

“Oh,” Tooru looked at him, “What do you do with that?” Shuu considered his not-quite-son back.

“I work at a shelter for unfortunately misplaced women and children.”

Haise coughed from his seat, and Shuu looked at him.

“How are you qualified to do that?” Haise asked, taking off his reading glasses, and rubbing at his face, “Like, even remotely qualified.”

“I took the test and I passed it.” Shuu was hurt at his disbelief, and let his disappointment show on his face, and in his voice. “I just have been too busy modeling to make much use of my skills. But I feel that now is the time for me to settle down in a real career.”

Haise watched him, with something like surprise on his face, “You don’t think modeling is a real career?”

“It was only ever meant to be a temporary job. I do have certain things I want out of life, I’d have you know. My parents have their own expectations as well.”

“Being a social worker wouldn’t be a career I’d think your parents would approve of,” Haise put back on his glasses, and frowned thoughtfully, “Not that I’ve ever met them, but I imagine they’re pretty stuck up.”

“You wouldn’t be _wrong_ exactly _,_ ” Shuu settled on saying.

Tooru coughed, and then said, “I imagine you’re a good social worker, Tsukiyama. You’re pretty determined and know how to deal with teenagers.”

Recognizing the olive branch for what it was, Shuu thanked him, and then brought Haise his evening tea. Haise sipped it, and after Tooru had gone into the living room to urge the other kids up to their rooms, asked, “I can’t imagine Hori’s pleased with your sudden decision.”

“Chie does not rule my life, regardless of what she thinks.”

“Hm,” Haise said, “Try telling her that.”

Shuu just sighed in defeat.

 

xxx

 

Chie did not take the news well.

“Is this because of Haise?” she asked. “Working so you can support yourself? That’s not the Shuu I know.”

“I worked to support myself all this time!” he protested. She merely tapped fingers on the table. He had taken her out to lunch to soften the blow, and so far it wasn’t working. Chie was not amused.

“Listen, Shuu, you working as a social worker just isn’t interesting or anything of the sort. It’s just so ordinary. You can’t tell me you’re happy being ordinary? What happened to our promise to always be something unique and special?”

Shuu barely paused, “We made no such promise. Maybe we did in your head. All I promised to do was to keep being your friend. Which I have been. You should be happy for me.”

“You are my favorite muse, how can I be expected to be happy when you’re taking that away from me?” Chie sipped her soda, and then sighed, “At least say you won’t quit all shoots.”

“No more international ones.”

“Nationwide okay?”

“I’d prefer local. But listen, Chie, we both know I’m getting older anyway. As much as I hate to admit that, I have to. I won’t be as popular when I’m 40, so it’s better for me to cut my losses now, right?”

Chie considered that, “You’d still be attractive at 40. Aesthetically you’ll appeal to a older crowd, I think.”

“No, thank you,” Shuu said. They sat in silence for a bit, as Chie thought things over.

Chie sighed, “Well, I guess if I can keep taking my own private photos this won’t be so bad. I still can’t believe all the things you do for Haise and how little you get in return.”

“Don’t you start now. I’m happy. I’m doing this because I want to do it. I like the kids, and I like Haise, and I just like being able to help people. Aoi, one of the kids at the shelter, smiled for the first time at me today. I’m making changes happen in these people’s lives, Chie.”

She snapped a photo, “Well, your passion hasn’t gone away. I suppose this is alright.”

He smiled at her, “Of course it’s alright. It’s my life after all.”

 

xxx

 

“I need you to be my date to my movie premiere,” Kaede called him one day when he was about to tell Haise to stop working on his novel corrections and sleep. The week had been busy and hectic. Shuu was exhausted and ready for sleep. That was probably why he just told her to text him the details for it in the morning.

He got Haise to bed--taking care of the novelist was always a struggle--and went to bed himself.

In the morning, he checked his phone and was surprised to Kaede’s text with details for a movie premiere until he remembered the late night phone call. It got put aside as unimportant until after work.

His work consisted of trying to sort out more permanent living situations for his clients, and checking in on them once those were found. The shelter was only temporary housing after all.

He saw all sorts of things, and heard all sorts of stories, and from them he started to feel the beginning of regret for what he had done in the past to Haise. From hearing the stories of abuse from the women who came through, he realized that he had put Haise through hell, and that he was blessed that Haise was even able to look at him, let alone allow him inside his home.

 _How utterly fucked are we?_ He couldn’t help but think as he advised his clients throughout the day. One lady wanted advice on whether or not to return to her alcoholic husband with their children. The lingering bruises on her children were enough that he told her not to.

It was not unlike the lingering bruise that was the beginning of his relationship with Haise. He loved the other man, truly and deeply loved him, but he didn’t, couldn’t honestly expect Haise to ever forgive him or to even love him back. It saddened him.

He had to deal with a few more cases that left his stomach turning, and he was glad that he didn’t work at the shelter more than four days a week. He didn’t think he could handle the pressure and stress. He turned to his phone for comfort on his break, and Haise was obviously who he turned to. He didn’t know what to say to him, unable to speak on matters about the shelter to an outsider, so he just settled on asking how his day had went.

“It’s going well,” Haise said, “I found the sandwiches you left, and I ate those with some tea. I’m almost three-fourths of the way done with the edits. Hide’s coming over for dinner, so I think I’m going to go shopping--”

“Wait for me and I can carry the basket for you,” Shuu interrupted.

Haise laughed, “Yeah, sure. If you get off work on time. Otherwise, dinner can’t wait on you, Tsukiyama.”

“I know it can’t. I’ll be done in another few hours,” he promised.

“That’s fine,” Haise said, “See you soon then.”

Hearing Haise’s voice helped, it always did for the most part. With that promise of a good meal later, Shuu got through the rest of his day.

 

xxx

 

Later on that week, he went to the movie premiere with Kaede, and they got their photos taken as usual.

“Haven’t seen you in awhile,” someone commented, and he just laughed them off.

“What have you been up to?” Kaede asked when they were waiting to be seated.

“Social work, you know, that sort of thing.”

“This,” she said, waving at all that was around them, “is social work. What have you really been doing?”

“I told you,” he said, and left it at that. After moment, he took her hand and studied it more closely, “Who should be congratulated on winning your hand?”

“Hmm, I wonder?” she said in reply, which wasn’t an answer--not a satisfactory one at any rate.

“I’ll figure it out,” he promised her, “Why isn’t he with you tonight?”

“Why are we assuming it’s a guy?” she asked.

“It’s not?”

She just smiled at him.

 

xxx

 

A few days later in the next week, he was out grocery shopping with Haise when he noticed Kaede and himself on the cover of one of those gossip rags. The title was in all bold like something out of movie ‘KAEDE ENGAGED TO SHUU?!’ He tried to turn the cover around before Haise could see it, but it was too late.

“Haise, it’s not what it looks like.”

His lover looked at him blankly, “What’s not?”

Taking that to mean that he hadn’t seen it after all, Shuu sighed in relief, “Nothing.” While privately thinking, _I will have to call and get damage control done on this matter._

“Oh, the Kaede thing?” Haise said when they were loading up the car, “I got a call this morning from Hide about it.”

“. . . oh. Well it’s not true, I would never cheat on you--”

“You don’t need to reassure me. I already knew it wasn’t true. You’re not Kaede’s type.” Haise sounded so matter-of-fact about the whole thing that Shuu didn’t know how to react at first.

“You’re not the least bit jealous?”

“Why should I be? People have been saying that you and her were dating for years now. It’s never bothered me then, and won’t now. If you’re expecting me to be jealous over rumors, don’t.” Haise shut the trunk and then looked at him, “Are we going?”

“We’re going,” Shuu said back.

They rode in silence, and Shuu thought on a lot of things. Mostly, he thought on himself and Haise.

Something had to be done.

 

xxx

 

The phone call from his father was not unexpected. He had servants, Shuu was sure, who looked at all the latest headlines and kept him abreast of celebrity gossip.

“I’m disappointed to be learning this from a magazine rather than from you personally, Shuu.”

“It’s not true, Papa,” Shuu said. _Sorry_ , he didn’t say. He wasn’t sorry. He was starting to get annoyed with everyone jumping to conclusions about him and Kaede though. It wasn’t like he was the only person she ever hung out with. He was just the more usual suspect in the wake of her apparent new need for secrecy.  

“It’s not? No need for secrecy with me, son, I know how to keep a secert.”

“There’s no need to keep a secret,” he tried to point out, but his father was already planning a wedding next June with Kaede. He wished he could get him to like Haise this much. But his father was disturbed by Haise’s writing material (despite how he continued to read each book that came out), and offended by his lack of love for Shuu. His father just didn’t understand Haise’s appeal. It was likely he never would.

“There is if you don’t want everyone showing up at the reception.”

Shuu just sighed, “There isn’t going to be one, because there is no wedding.”

 

xxx

 

“There’s going to be a wedding,” Kaede announced, and she was in his house, his house that he shared with Haise and Arima and the kids. Why? She and Shirazu were looking at magazines. Tooru was serving up tea. Shuu had just gotten home and was covered with weird fluids. He just wanted a shower.

Shuu ignored them and went into the bedroom. A woman was touching his suits and taking down notes.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

She looked at him, and she had a face that was vaguely familiar. Her glasses were tinted red in the setting sun’s light. She smiled at him.

“Kaede told me to pick out a suit for you to wear on your date tonight.”

Kaede’s assistant then, he thought, and then waved a hand, “Get out of my room.”

“Now, that’s no way to talk to a lady,” she said. “Rize, Rize Kamishiro. You don’t look like Kaede’s type but you’ll do.”

“Do for what?”

Rize smiled, “For her pretend boyfriend.”

He went back out into the living room, “What the fuck.”

“Language,” Tooru said.

“That,” Kaede said, “was your first time meeting Rize? I’m surprised with the circles you run in.”

“What circles are those,” he said, “Uppity school teachers anonymous?”

“No, upper class society. Rize’s one of your own. Her husband just died last year, you must know him. Daisuke Hamasaki?”

The name sounded vaguely familiar, but Shuu wasn’t sure why. He would have to google the man and Rize as soon as possible.

“What’s this about pretending to be your boyfriend?”

“I need a beard for awhile. My agency doesn’t think now is the right time for me to be coming out publicly. I looked around at my friends, and you were an obvious choice. Your agency isn’t okay with you coming out either, right?”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” Shuu said, “I work largely independently, and have also been in a committed homosexual relationship for almost eight years now.”

“Huh,” Kaede said, and Rize finally came out of his and Haise’s bedroom, “Because that’s not what Haise said.”

“And what did my dear darling lover have to say?”

Kaede told him, and Shuu made his way to Haise’s study where the author had locked himself away.

 

xxx

 

“We’re not dating, so what need is there to come out?”

“Haise, we are totally dating. You haven’t been with anyone else since we started this whole affair years ago.” Even though Shuu had, but they had moved past that. Haise didn’t even bring her up as he sighed at him.

“I’m not coming out as gay when I’m not gay.”

“What?” Shuu felt his heart stop as Haise seemed like he was rejecting him.

“I’m bisexual, more likely than not. Maybe pansexual. I don’t know, these terms are confusing and I’m busy. Have fun on your date with Kaede.”

“Doesn’t her asking for such a huge favor bug you at all?”

“Why should it? Kaede is a friend.” Haise titled his head, black and white hair falling softly to one side as he considered Shuu. “Are you expecting me to say ‘no’ to her for you? If you don’t want to do it, no one is forcing you, Tsukiyama.”

Shuu was still stuck on the bisexual thing, but now he pouted and frowned, and tried to make a fuss but there was a knock on the door and Kaede entered after Haise welcomed her in.

“Dinner is at 7 and Shuu you’re a mess. Go get dressed.”

So he went, and put Chie on speakerphone while he complained about everything and got dressed.

“Literally nothing has changed. You’ve been freaking out over him paying attention to men and women for years now. Also, this is boring and domestic, don’t call me about stuff like this.” Chie hung up, and he texted her ten frowny faces before finishing getting dressed.

There was a knock on the door, and Tooru handed over the jewelry case for his diamond cufflinks. They were typically stored in the safe in Arima’s study which meant that--

“Is Arima finally home?”

“Yeah, he’s sleeping now though. Kamishiro-san asked Sasaki for your jeweled cufflinks and Arima got them for her.”

A plan was hatching in Shuu’s head, but it’d have to wait for later.

“Okay, time for this date.”

 

xxx

 

They went to the same restaurant he had taken Haise to for their first date. He hadn’t gone back in the years since, and was surprised at both how popular it had become and how much bigger. They were photographed going inside.

“How long have you been seeing Kamishiro Rize?” Shuu asked. He’d managed to get Chie to spill details on her on the drive over. The text messages weren’t promising for the type of woman that Kaede had involved herself with.

“Ah,” Kaede said, “What did you find out about her?”

“That she’s not trustworthy. She probably killed her husband who was an older man. And no one knows where she came from.”

“No one but me,” Kaede corrected, “And that’s a secret I’m taking to the grave.”

They talked about mutual acquaintances in the celebrity world. Their entrée had arrived before Shuu asked his most pressing question. He was concerned for her as much as he didn’t want to be doing this.

“Whom proposed to whom?”

“She did, and gave me this.” Kaede twisted her engagement ring around, the diamond and ruby stones catching the light. The server came with more wine, and Shuu declined a glass. Kaede got a refill.

“I can’t picture you married.”

“Good, because it’s not legal. I just want a quiet ceremony with her, more symbolic than anything--”

“How long do you plan on having me be your beard?”

“It’s not like you have anything better to do.”

“What if I was planning on coming out with Haise?”

“He’s not going to come out with you,” Kaede said, “He’s not ready for that much commitment.”

“How did Rize know you were?”

“I looked at a wedding dress and said ‘you’d make someone a beautiful bride’ and she said ‘why not your beautiful bride?’”

He hated to admit that it was sweet.

 

xxx

 

Of course, that sweetness came to an end with a call from Kanae.

“What on earth do you consider yourself to be doing? Aren’t you dating Sasaki-san? Why are you hanging around with Kaede so much and getting deliberately photographed?”

Kanae was, for lack of a better word, furious.

Shuu sighed outside of the house, and went around back to sit on a bench while he talked to his servant-manager-sometimes-even-friend in privacy.

“I’m doing her a favor.”

“So she’s not to become the next Mrs. Tsukiyama?”

“Kanae, no. Regardless of what everyone thinks, I’m not leaving Haise. I’m not cheating on him either.”

“You’re at his house right now, aren’t you?” Kanae sounded resigned, and Shuu wondered where he was. Who he was with.

But because it was Kanae, and because they had known each other since childhood, he knew where he was.

“Yes, and you’re at the manor, right?”

“I am, sir,” Kanae said, distancing them with titles as he was wont to do. Kanae was so much a background to Shuu’s life that he treated him like such. It wasn’t fair to a man who worked so hard for Shuu’s sake.

“I suppose you’ve heard then about my parents wanting me to settle down. Mother’s idea mostly I’m sure.”

“I’ve heard,” Kanae said, “She just wants to insure the legacy of the Tsukiyama name when she finally has to step down as CEO.”

“What do you think I should do, Kanae?” he asked curiously.

“You have no plans of being CEO, do you, Master Shuu?”

“You’d be more suited to that role than me, Kanae.” Shuu hated to admit that, but he would never be happy in a corner office overlooking the city. He wouldn’t trade his luxury lifestyle for the world, but he was also happy doing what he did. Helping out victims as a way to apologize for what his family had helped to contribute to in the world. “I don’t want that for myself.” And he felt lightened for saying so. That was his choice.

 

xxx

 

He climbed into bed, trying to be quiet, but Haise wasn’t sleeping. His lover spoke up when he was more than halfway into the bed.

“Rize seems nice.”

He got all the way underneath the covers, and looked at him in the moonlight.

“People think she killed her last partner for his money.”

“Ah,” Haise said, and it was his _Tsukiyama are you going to fall for that?_ tone of voice. It wasn’t unusual to hear during their late night conversations when it was just them, and no one else. In their youth, they would have been making love until they tired themselves out, desperate not to talk, not to think. But now, they talked. He had learned so much from Haise during their late night talks. “She doesn’t seem the type.”

“You barely know her--”

“She stayed for dinner. The kids like her.”

“Do you like her?”

“She seems haunted by something, but yes, I like her.”

“How much did you talk to her to know she’s haunted by something?” Shuu took up Haise’s hand, and rubbed the lines in his palm.

Haise looked at their hands for a moment, “Isn’t everyone haunted by something? And it’s in her eyes. She doesn’t speak about the past and is looking only towards the future. Something happened to her, I’m sure.”

“Doesn’t that worry you? Aren’t you worried about Kaede at all?”

“Kaede is older than us, I’m sure she knows what she’s doing. She loves her, so I guess she’s willing to pay the price whatever it might be.”

“She might be marrying a possible murderer.” Tsukiyama told Haise all that Chie had told him. Haise took back his hand and sighed, rubbing at his face.

“Kaede knows the truth and that’s what matters to her, so that’s what matters to me as her friend.”

Shuu sighed, leaning back on his pillows and yawning, “Alright. Fine. I’ll be her beard.”

 

xxx

 

Being Kaede’s beard meant more engagements and dinners after work. It meant less time at home, and home was where Shuu wanted to be. He missed it. He told Kaede as much, and she just shrugged.

“We can stage an epic breakup or something and I’ll find someone else, but for now, while we’re waiting for my movie to come out, I need you to help me keep public attention on me.”

“Don’t you think announcing your engagement to a woman would do that?”

“It’ll be the wrong type of press. Especially given Rize’s background. I don’t want her exposed to the public eye more than she has been.”

Shuu looked at his friend, a woman who he’d never felt anything more than begrudging respect for, and realized something about her.

“You really love her. Even knowing all her secrets you love her.”

“Isn’t that what love is? Knowing the best and worst of someone and loving them anyway?”

Shuu considered that, “Would you say that Haise loves me?”

“You love Haise, and I think that’s what’s keeping you together. I don’t think Haise knows what he feels about you.” Kaede was blunt, but instead of offending Shuu it made sense.

“So, do you think Rize loves you?”

“I know she trusts me. She and Haise are alike in some ways, I’d say. It was easy to befriend them, but even still I don’t think I really know either of them, truly. I know Rize more than anyone else in the world, but sometimes she gets such a far off look on her face . . .”

Shuu knew the look, had seen it on Haise from time to time.

“And even still you want to marry her.”

“As much as we can get married. Smile!” Kaede kissed his cheek and raised her glass as a photographer took their photo.

 

xxx

 

Haise was gone, spending the night at Hide’s as he was wont to do during the final press of his deadlines. He didn’t seem to care that Hide had other authors, or that it might be an inconvenience. Possibly because Hide never said no.

Shuu had his own problems saying no to Haise as well.

Now, he was sitting in the living room drinking wine while Arima drank his disgusting beer and they chatted over what they had been up to. There was a photo album spread out on the table, and unlike usual it was from Arima’s college days.

“And who is this? You two seem close.” Arima had black hair back then, and the other man had his arm slung across his shoulders as he tossed back a beer.

“That’s Fura,” Arima said, and left it at that. “How’s being a beard coming along?”

“Slowly, painfully. Kaede says it’ll end after she wins a few awards, but I’m of the mind that soon people are going to expect a wedding date.”

“You’re right, they will expect one.”

Shuu sighed, “She doesn’t seem to get that this half baked notion will have consequences. After all it’s not like I go out of my way to hide where I live.”

“Which is here,” Arima said, and he sounded neutral on that fact.

Shuu nodded, “At least you acknowledge that.”

“Be hard not to.” Arima finished his beer and opened another can. His usual partner for these activities was gone, but her lack of presence felt like a ghost in the room. Mado was at her apartment, and not here. This was why Shuu had gotten roped into drinking with Arima.

He wondered if Haise was drinking as well with Hide. That was what they typically did together. He just hoped it wasn’t more, and frowned into his glass.

“If I asked you for Haise’s hand in marriage, what would you say?” Shuu asked his glass. Arima seemed to hear him though, and the room went still.

“I’d ask if you’ve talked to him about it. That’s not something I’m going to get involved in. Haise’s permission is the only one you need.” Arima finally said.

“I want to marry him, being around Kaede must make the wedding bug catching.” Shuu sighed, “My parents want me to either marry someone who loves me, or if I can’t do that, marry someone who can carry on the Tsukiyama name. They’ve suggested some of my former flings to me. But I can’t imagine a future with any of them.”

The only person he’d ever been able to imagine a future with was Haise. He was already looking forward to when the book edits were done and his lover came back to their bed.

“Yeah,” Arima said, “But just because you can imagine a future with him, doesn’t mean he can imagine one with you.”

Shuu looked at him, and sighed, “I know. And I know I’d have to let him go. But for now, I’m going to keep on living the way we have been.”

He was surprised to hear himself say that. He wondered if when or if the time came, he would be able to let Haise go. He didn’t know if he had it in him.

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t keep living the way you have been. Haise doesn’t seem to mind, so neither do I.”

“Thanks, Arima,” Shuu said, and didn’t say that it felt like a father’s blessing.

 

xxx

 

Haise was a puzzle that Shuu could never figure out, a study in complexes and complications. He wanted to keep unraveling Haise for as long as he could.

But now, he faced off against his parents with Kaede.

“I work at a shelter for women and children,” he started off saying. His father nodded, and his mother frowned slightly before nodding as well. “I might still pay for that apartment, but I haven’t slept there in over a year. I live with Haise and his family. He’s my lover, not Kaede.”

Kaede hadn’t wanted to do this, but Rize had convinced her where Shuu could not. “It’s true. Shuu and I aren’t getting married. I’m sorry to have deceived you both.”

“You would have been the perfect daughter-in-law,” his mother sighed, looking wistful. She didn’t like Haise, because she didn’t understand her son’s obsession with him. “But I suppose there’s more women out there for our Shuu.”

“There’s not,” Shuu said, “I’m going to be with Haise until I die.”

 

xxx

 

“And then she threw something, right?” Haise asked as they got ready for bed, and Shuu told him about his mother’s reaction. Shuu sighed.

“No, she did not! Honestly, what is this view you have of my parents?”

“Well, I’ve never met them,” Haise said, “And I’m a writer, I have to fill in the blanks on the type of dramatic people who raised you.”

“Do you want to meet them?” Shuu asked, as he got into bed.

Haise considered that for all of ten seconds, before turning off the light, “No. I think not.” He was smiling, just a bit as he said that. Shuu saw it in the moonlight and he smiled back.

 

xxx

 

In the morning, he would get dressed and go to the shelter. There he would be faced with the worst that humanity had to offer. There he would be stressed and tested. In the afternoon, he would go on a late lunch date with Kaede and stage a fake breakup. In the evening, he would come back _home_ and help prepare the meal with Tooru. After dinner, he would scold Saiko for staying up late, and Shirazu for demolishing his car in his explorations of what made it work. Urie would still be missing, but a recent run in with him suggested that Shuu had left him with something to think on. The boy was lost and confused. He just needed to find home again. He just needed to sort some things out. Like Shuu had had to.

And at night, after the kids were asleep, he would undress Haise slowly and make love to him. Or, if he was too tired, and his body ached too much, he would just hold him close like he was doing now. He would just feel his heartbeat against his cheek, and let that lull him into sleep. He would sleep, safe and secure in the knowledge that for now, these stolen moments of happiness would be enough.


End file.
